For me, I think the hardest part about life now isn’t so much life itself, but what to do with it. Most of my childhood was about getting wrong advice or just turned off from the world and then when I became an adult it was more about finding ways to get myself out of the toxic environment I was in so I can be my own person that I really don’t have a clue.
So what does a person do when they don’t have a clue about something? They can go and learn. That is what I did but looking back there was a fatal flaw in my thinking. That is I believed the self-help books and advice a little too much.
I figure if I did what the advice or book said then I would get ahead in my life. I would do what was recommended and fail. I would ask myself why did I fail? I often took it the wrong way in that the reason I failed was that I was a failure. After all the advice in the book was so to make my life better and that didn’t work so that would be the reason.
Well it took me a while to learn piece of advice that really did help me. That is what those self-help tips are advice. They may work for the author, but may not work for me. The only real way I can learn is not by reading but trying and failing. Keep doing that until I found something that worked for me. Often what worked for was a mixture of things from different sources and blind luck. Blind luck in that I happen to do something and found it worked for me.
The other thing I learned slowly was that life is chaos. To me that is the one thing that has really helped me come to grips with what has happen to me but also deal with what is going on around me in the present. I had the simplistic view that if I did the right thing then good things would happen. But life isn’t that simple, we can do everything right and still fail. After all we are human and not Gods. There is a lot of things beyond our control or ability to perceive. Even though they are beyond our control or can perceive them they still affect us and our lives. All we can do is do what we think is the right thing to do and hope for the best. If it doesn’t work out then try to learn from it and eventually accept it.
