Today was a depressing day. At least mentally. Physically it was great. So I am a mixed state right now.
I had to admit to myself that I failed yet again. Seems to be the story of my life in regard to this one aspect of my life. It hit me so hard this morning when I realized that I failed yet again.
But I realized something along the way that if I had succeeded in this aspect of my life then I would be bored. There is really nothing that challenges the mind after success.
With failure, the mind is challenged to figure why I failed and how I am going to try again and not fail this time. There is the puzzle of success to figure out and probably fail again to solve. But there is always that challenge and that is what my mind really likes is to try to solve the puzzle.
It is morning time now. Reminds me one thing that I trying to give up in my life. That is smoking. Besides my wife, I am not going to tell anyone that I am doing that until someone notices it. One thing I have learned in giving up bad habits is not to tell anyone. The reason being when I fail, I don’t have the judgements about my failure. I know I am going to fail at times and have a smoke. I don’t need those judgements driving me into wanting to smoke more. Something I learned when getting over my drinking problem. Better to suffer the withdrawals in silence than deal with people when I do fail.
I am going to go ahead and post this then doing my walking exercise. I probably shouldn’t bother with walking today because it is raining off and on. But I feel I need to do it and what is getting a little wet anyway?
